Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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