I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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