I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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