He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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