What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
