Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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