I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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