We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
