Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
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Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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