THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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