i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She even gives head with a lisp.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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