when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Houston, we have a squirter
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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