Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
