i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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