how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize