I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
