i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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