No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
