For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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