its not stalking. its research.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
