You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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