bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Be still, my beating vagina.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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