one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
