I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If I die, sorry about rent.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
