suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
