i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
