I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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