sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
