Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
