If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize