it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
