is your mom at the bar?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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