sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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