Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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