So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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