thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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