Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
