508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
