He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
