Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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