need another drink. this is the easiest way
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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