The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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