so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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