They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
