So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
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Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
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I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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