That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
