1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
please come you make the beer taste better
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
