are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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