Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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