im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So I just went to clothing optional bar
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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