I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
