I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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