Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
