So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
