I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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