I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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