Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
