I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
