Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
