We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
