I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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