yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
