My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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