This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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