So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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